Random Review #1: Yahtzee

Did you miss me yesterday, Anonymous Reader? I bet you did (I hope, I really hope.) Well I’m back and today is Wednesday. Do you know what that means? Random Review! Now, since I didn’t get any suggestions for this week’s random review I chose something myself. I decided to review a reviewer! Hah! I’m breaking the rules of reviewing and I don’t care! (If there are any rules, I failed to get the rule book and thus I blame every other reviewer for not lending me their copy).

So, who am I reviewing this evening? Well the reviewer I will be reviewing is a man by the name of Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw who critiques video games for escapistmagazine.com (Here’s the direct link to Yahtzee’s archive of reviews: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation ). I stumbled across these with help from my good friend Tony. I guess you could say I didn’t really stumble upon them since he did say “Hey, check this out!” and then gave me a link.

This is a great literal translation of what he does to games.

Each critique is done in a video that is about five minutes long and is filled with simple cartoons to match whatever Yahtzee is saying. You can always tell which little character is Yahtzee thanks to the distinct hat it’s always wearing.

Now, his reviews are called “Zero Punctuation” for a reason. Yahtzee never seems to take a chance to breathe within those five minutes and everything seems like a run-on sentence of itself. See that right there, Anonymous Reader? That sentence was longer than intended because I’m starting to hear Yahtzee in my brain. It’s a distinct style that I can’t say I’ve ever heard before and adds to the humor of Yahtzee’s wit and accent. Yes, I think Yahtzee’s accent is something that adds to his humor because we all think that people who sound different are quirky. Get over yourself; I don’t care if I just sounded like an ass.

In each video, Yahtzee goes over a game he’s recently played stating a bit about the plot, gameplay, etc. After that, he does what everyone goes to him for:  a good ass-riding of whatever sorry video game he got his hands on.  If you SERIOUSLY love a game and find it in his archive, here’s a warning: he is about to tear it up. Watch at your own cost. In all honestly, no one wants to hear someone praise a game. They want to know what the fuck is wrong with it and Yahtzee is like Moses in this department.

You can't even SEE the Wedding Cake behind the Jelly Beans!

While he doesn’t hold back when insulting a game, I would still recommend watching each of Yahtzee’s videos. They’re just too good to pass up! If you’re a little sensitive about your favorite games being ripped on (I’m not one of those people, I had no problem laughing as Yahtzee pointed out every flaw of Assassin’s Creed) then I suggest sucking it up and realizing that he is just one person (as in HUMAN BEING) who is just stating his opinion. No one is saying you have to accept his opinion as the final judgment, but his experience and witty metaphors do make him a good source if you want to know what a video game is like and what the potential flaws are.

Get your panties out of your ass cause I’m giving Yahtzee O O O O O (5 coconuts) for being unique, honest with his opinion, and having an awesome accent.

Today was kind of short for what I usually do but at the moment I have a sty (sp?) and my eye is annoying the crap out of me. Hope you could enjoy the bit of scattered information I gave and I will see you tomorrow when I tell you about my life as a writer. Until then, Anonymous Reader.

                                                 ~The Ink Eater

Quote/Event/Insight of the day: "I lost the door!" -BF playing Assassin's Creed